Mayan Calendar Warns Of Cataclysmic Roland Emmerich Film On Nov. 13, 2009
CHICHÉN ITZÁ, MEXICO—Scholars of the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar warned Monday that, according to ancient Mayan calculations, a devastating film by German director Roland Emmerich is set to occur on Nov. 13, 2009. “On this date, near the end of the 13th baktun cycle, when the sun will converge with the centerline of the Milky Way, we will see the release of an overblown ensemble epic by the man responsible for Godzilla and 10,000 BC that could very well end John Cusack’s career as we know it,” said Thomas Haney, an independent researcher specializing in pre-Columbian cosmology. “At this point, all we can do is hope and pray that the high priests were wrong and the running time is less than 143 minutes.” Hastening fears of an unstoppable late-fall disaster has been the discovery of a tablet depicting Mayan king Pacal storming out of a Loews cinema in disgust
“Isn’t it beautiful,” the priest asked the master…
The master nodded. “Yes…your garden is beautiful; but there is something missing…”
The old gentleman walked slowly to a tree growing in the center of a harmonious rock and moss combination. It was autumn and the leaves were dying. All the master had to do was shake the tree a little and the garden was full of leaves again, spread out in haphazard patterns.
Photographer Irving Penn died this week at age 92. His career took off just after World War II, when advertising, publishing and celebrity itself demanded photographs that could convey the message that ever more alluring commodities were being produced for a world growing more remarkable every day. Penn delighted in the art of illusion, but he let you see what goes on behind the scenes. He used soft light that came in from a skylight, not big hot studio lamps; posed fashion models on planks and ladders; took portraits in spaces that were almost empty, aside from a wall, or a chair, or a hunk of industrial carpet.
Local connection - Penn was born in Plainfield, N.J., and grew up in Philadelphia.